Random Thoughts During "Fight"

I had a few random thoughts while finishing the recent short "Fight."  Here it is if you are curious about the entire post, although I will quote the relevant parts during this short.  In no particular order, I've listed a few thoughts which may or may not turn into useful advice.


1.  Finish the Thought.

The original scene began with Ieh'son sitting at the table, punching a person, and then having a conversation with Retarel.  The man Ieh'son punched was never mentioned again, and was quickly forgotten by me in the first draft.  The entire act was meant to set up Ieh'son's emotion and to put his conversation with Saishi's council in context.  Ieh'son could have said how pissed off he was, but by showing his anger, I think it punctuates it quite nicely.  But without finishing off the scene, it sort of fell flat.  Going over my draft, I added this:

     "Servants quickly came and led the sobbing and thrashing man from the room."

This one simple sentence ended the mini-scene nicely, put the nobleman out of the picture in a way that didn't interfere with the action, and set up the conversation relatively well.  I probably could have added a bit more behind this, like ", as Ieh'son stood to face the stunned crowd," but I like to keep those transitions short.

2.  Use Emotions as Breakable Tools.

I've usually pictured Ieh'son as a mostly calm and collected character.  As everyone knows, even the most zen-like individual can lose their temper.  The most important part of using these sudden changes in character is to make sure there are reasons for it!  Ieh'son had good reason to be mad; everything he's had up until this point has been destroyed, again.  But wave after wave of disappointment will have profound impacts on characters as well, so changes in mood and "character philosophy" are required and should be anticipated.  It's important for the protagonist to show emotion and grow, but that growth needs to be carefully crafted as well.

3.  Lead Somewhere!

I used the first part of the scene as a build-up to the second part.  It could have been very easy to leave out the last two paragraphs of the scene, and let it stand on it's own.  But it might be important to have a transition here, to move the story along in a different or new direction.  Here is the first interaction of Baen joining with Ieh'son, and to keep the story moving forward.  This is the first mention of the half centaur race, the Kurotan.  It gives the reader the feeling of "Yes, I want to know more about this!  Keep it coming!"  At least, that's the hope.